Thursday, August 2, 2007

Today is Thursday- Jacking off to booze

For my three week business trip, I packed the following:
4 Suitcases (Kate Spade) Lisbon black various sizes
8 Garment bags (Prada) Brown
4 Suitcases (Tumi) Black various sizes
4 Suitcases (Louis Vuitton) brown various sizes
1 Three button suit (Gucci) dark grey
1 Three button suit (Brioni) navy
1 Two button suit (Oxford) navy
1 Three button suit (Prada) black - makes me feel like a waiter
1 Three button suit (Zegna) brown
1 Three button suit (Costume) navy
1 Three button suit (Armani) charcoal
1 Sport coat (Armani) light patterned
1 Sport coat (Oxford) dark patterned
10 Button down shirts (Pinks) white and various collars
15 Patterned button down shirts (Various) various collars
25 ties (Various)
4 Cashmere sweaters (Al Loro Piano) dark blue, tan, green, light blue
40 V-neck tees (Calvin and Jockey) white
15 Pairs of pants (Various) various colors
10 Pairs of jeans (Diesel)
40 Pairs of sox (Gold Toe) black
20 Pairs of sox (Various) various light colors
10 Pairs of cycling socks (Various) various colors
20 Pairs of shoes (Various) various styles and colors
20 Belts (Various) matching shoes
10 Pairs of cuff links (Various)
15 Kerchiefs (Hermes) various colors
20 Pocket squares (Hermes) various colors
3 Umbrellas (Various) black, green, red
3 Rain coats (Al Loro Piano) Black, grey, tan
4 Speedos (Speedo) Navy
1 Pair of swim goggles (Speedo) Red
4 Pairs of bike shorts (Castelli) Black
4 Cycling shirts (Castelli) various
4 Layers (Various) various colors
1 Pair of running shoes (Brooks) white and blue
2 Watches (Various) sport and dress
2 Toothbrushes (Colgate) red
2 Tubes of toothpaste (Colgate) red
3 Containers of Dental Tape (Glide) white
40 Razor cartridges (Fusion) black
2 Razor bodies (Fusion) industrial
1 Bottle of SPF lotion (Kiehls) cream
1 Bottle of scent (I coloniali) guarnaca wood
2 Deodorant sticks (I coloniali) silver

On the plane, I wore the following:
1 Three button suit (Oxford) light grey
1 Button down shirt (Pinks) light blue stripe check
1 Tie (Pinks) patterned green
1 Pair of cuff links (Vintage) silver
1 Watch (Rolex)
1 V-neck tee (Jockey) white
1 Pair of boxer briefs (Calvin) white
1 Pair of shoes (Wilkes Bashford) brown- best shop out there
1 Belt (Wilkes Bashford) brown
1 Device (Blackberry) black
1 Laptop (Apple) silver
1 Laptop case (Tumi) black
1 Music Device (Apple) black
10 Pens (Sharpie) black
10 Pens (Sharpie) red
10 Notebooks (Moleskine) Black checked
1 Magazine (Playboy)
1 Magazine (Art News)
1 Magazine (Cycling)
1 Book (Crossword Dictionary)

As you can tell by my packing skills, I am very thorough and organized. However, I failed to pack an essential item and the lack of this item caused me much pain and discomfort. Though the trip was a success in business terms my personal discomfort put a huge stress upon me, so much so that on my way home I had the driver stop at a liquor store so that I could get a bottle of Jack. I felt so dirty during my trip. When I finally made it into my house, I left all the luggage downstairs, cracked the bottle of Jack and ran upstairs to shower. After my shower, I dried off and put on a pair of clean boxer briefs. I drank as much of the Jack that I could until my toes warmed. I stared at the bottle and thought of every woman that could have been. There was Marie. Suzanne. Gennifer. Jennifer. Alice. Whitney. Katharine. Georgia. Tia. Candice....... What are they doing now? Why couldn't I commit to them. I could be married right now with children. Instead, I am single with a child that I never see. What would life with Marie have been like? She had light pink panties that glowed against her bright white skin. Her knees were a bit darker then her skin and her hair had a slight reddish tint. She always had on blue nail polish. Her lips were full and she had a longish, crooked nose.
I think that I might have prostate cancer. It bothers me when full and it bothers me when it pulses. Sort of a dull aching throb. I am going to see the doctor tomorrow. She needs to reach up there and she needs to bang on it. Test it like the actors in the old movies used to test cars- kick the tires. I wonder if she could just pluck it out and flick it into the stream.
Cleaning fish in my youth. Insert the knife in the anus and cut upward toward the head. Slit across the gills. Pull out the entrails and use your thumb nail to clean out the vein that runs along the spine. Throw it all into the stream. Grilled trout with crispy skin and lemon. Too dark to see anything, but the smell leads the fork to the flesh and the flesh to my mouth. Eat the tail. Crunch, crink, crunch. Like dry seaweed, but not as sweet. Eating rainbows only made me yearn for something else. A mind that could never settle or become staid.
Under the covers, when I close my eyes, I am a starved pangolin lapping up ants. Colonies and colonies of queens, diploids and haploids fill my stomach and distend my belly so that my legs can no longer reach the ground. I rollover in blissful satiation. I am completely hapless as my tongue continually darts in and out of my mouth entering deep into the nest. I am past the point of brining as every ant that exits my anus thirty fold are brought in by my tongue. The nest is pulsing ants toward me- sacrificing themselves for the brood. Their defense is in their numbers. There is no explosive release. Just a ceasing of my tongue, heart and breath. Dead ants trickle out of me while live ants caress the mess, deftly cleaning my carcass.

Abinadi in Mosiah 16:3:

For they are carnal and devilish, and the devil has power over them; yea, even that old serpent that did beguile our first parents, which was the cause of their fall; which was the cause of all mankind becoming carnal, sensual, devilish, knowing evil from good, subjecting themselves to the devil.



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