Yesterday was Thursday- saturn, southern and bright

I have been struggling at work as of late. I have an employee who is not performing to my expectations and he is starting to make people doubt my abilities as a leader. I have been coaching this guy for about 5 months and he just doesn't seem to get it. I think he may have some learning disability. Anyway, I am working with HR, but of course due to our totally fucked country, we need to carefully document everything with this guy- fear of him suing us. He is also in a protected class. He is gay. I don't get it. I don't care who he sleeps with as long as he gets his job done. It is a shame that the people that are the worst performers are the hardest to get rid of; but, when you have a star performer, unless they get promoted quickly, they leave for more money and a better opportunity. I take care of my team. If they perform, they get rewarded. If they don't, I get tortured. I spend my days coaching and documenting. I must say, I will be very happy when this guy finally understands that he is fucked and that there is no chance he can escape what has already started. This rattlesnake has stopped shaking his tail, so be careful.
Wednesday night I had to do some volunteer time at a local Montessori school. Education is wonderful. Having knowledge and understanding of concepts and society and all the other BS our brains and actions create is truly, truly wonderful.
Thursday night I actually left work early. I canceled my meetings and went home at 2pm. I told my admin that only she and my boss could contact me. Fucking bitch obviously didn't hear a word I said. I spent the next 5 hours on the Treo, my personal cell and my lan line. Needless to say, I was very surprised when my doorbell rank. 'What the fuck!' is what I thought. When I looked through the security monitor, Sophia's beautiful face was staring back at me. She was smiling. I buzzed her in and hung up my phone. I was so surprised by her dropping in I didn't know what to do, think or say. As she walked up the to the landing, she said, 'I was calling you all day, but you never picked up. I called your admin and she told me you were at home.' When she walked up to me, her lips were the first thing to touch me. Not even a single knuckle, digit, fingernail or hangnail. Fuck. I knew that it was finally over. After a few awkward moments, I offered to make her dinner which she accepted. I made a nice mushroom risotto.
Three types of fresh mushrooms and dried porcinis. Soak the dried porcini in warm water and a splash of white wine. Chop fresh mushrooms. Ring out porcini and chop. Save broth. Medium heat. Saute the mushrooms in olive oil, butter, shallots, white onions. Deglaze with wine. Yum. Vegetable broth simmering. Carnaroli (abrorio if you are desperate.) Chop onion. Peel garlic. Mince parsley. Medium heat. Olive oil in pan which is held at an angle over the heat so that the oil pools. Once to temp add garlic. Extract all the flavor but do not burn. Remove garlic and place to the side. Pan back, flat on heat. Onions. Sizzle!. Sweat them; which means cook them till soft. Carnaroli. Stir. Coat each grain. Toasted. Add wine. Stir. Listen for rice to tell you it is time for more broth. You will hear. Add broth. Stir. Drink. Stir. Repeat. Rice whines for more. Ladle broth. Stir, drink, stir. About half way through cooking - the rice will have about doubled in size in the pan. Add salt and pepper to taste. Add mushrooms and broth, stir, drink, stir. Keep at it. Taste occasionally. You will know what you like, so right before you like it, add more broth and the porcini juice. Stir, drink, stir. Add a lot of butter- to taste, but alot. Beat the rice quickly with a wooden spoon. Keep whipping. Your arm will hurt. Turn off the heat. Put the lid on and let rest. When you serve throw on the parsley. During all this commotion, your partner will have made a salad and put out cheese and other delights. You are slightly drunk, and you will have tried to kiss her on the cheek. If she loves you, but is tired of you, you will get a peck. If she loves you, you make get some tongue. If she is over you, you will get a cheek. I got a cheek.
During dinner, we chatted like nothing had changed. After dinner, I asked what she wanted. She said that she came by to pick up her stuff. She needs to finally make a break from me. I just frowned and said ok.
My Dob had been outside the whole time cooling down, so it was primed and ready for some nice views. Sophia was upstairs purging my house of her life, and I was on the deck trying to find Jupiter or Saturn. Saturn was high and westward which allowed me to have brief views of her. Jupiter was south and bright. I could not believe how bright. At first, I found Antares. Then after more sighting, I found Jupiter and her lovely moons. The mother duck and her four babies wading through the night. I thought of Sophia and I and how we would not have any baby ducks. A tear dropped on my eyepiece and sent my view into chaos. I kept sighting on Jupiter with the hope that that would be Sophia with our children. I ran up to get her so that she could look into our future and perhaps change her mind. She came down, was blown away by the sight. 'Are those moons?' she asked. I ended up seeing one of the lower bands but no spot. When Sophia had finished disassembling our memoris, she left with abrupt awkwardness. I think she was sad, but she needed to just leave. I gave her a hug, and I could feel her holding in her breath. I wanted to tell her that it was ok and that she could breath, but I just couldn't. I am too tired from work to work on myself right now. We told each other that we would see each other around, she walked downstairs, got in her car and drove off. The end.
I put my telescope away and went straight to bed.
This morning, I found that a bad mood had crept upon me in the evening. I did not want to go to work, so I checked my schedule- the treo is such a good tool. Turns out, I had my weekly TB with the guy I am firing and I also had a lunch date with 'yellow panties'. Holy shit! I totally forgot about my lunch date, and I had almost forgotten about 'yellow panties' over the past few days. I have been way too stressed and busy. Turns out it is going to be a good day. Made the drive to work in record time. Labradford and 'waltzing matilda' on the pod. I sped through my morning meetings and made it to lunch in record time. I was whistling waltzing matilda on my way to her desk. When I came upon her, she seemed to be disinterested and annoyed by me, and even asked, 'May I help you?' When I told her that we were having lunch today, she said, 'Oh is that today? Give me one second.' Fucking lier. She got up to go and I could tell that she knew we were having lunch. Paul Frank sweatshirt- green. Jean skirt, tight. Green Adidas. She had a small tattoo on her foot- I could see it peeking over the shoe tongue and laces. Peek-a-boo! Her hair was short and brown and was done up to look like that chick from 'a bout de souffle'. The elevator came; I allowed her in and got my first inhale of her; she still had that hint of honey, tea and tobacco, but, a new scent was coming across my pallet and it made my nape tingle and arouse.
I drove us over to 'ghetto' burrito. Every time I go there, the grill guy is cooking shrimp and chopping carne or pork or chicken. I ordered a super vegetarian burrito with green rice, hot salsa, black beans, everything with no sour cream and avocado. Yes, and guacamole too. One medium aqua fresca- lime. She ordered al pastor and a red jarritos. Fork, green salsa, and meticulous eating. Hold the burrito up, like a tree, fire plug, or Italy. A bite to open the burrito up. Squirt in green salsa. Use fork to eat down into it. Bite off and eat empty tortilla. Repeat. She ate her burrito like a whore. She was messy and disorganized, the burrito was collapsing around her and her hands were covered in juice, salsa, guacamole, rice, beans, and sour cream and lettuce. She used a pile of napkins.
We actually spoke the whole time. I framed the date by saying that we could speak about one work related issue, but that I was considering this to be a date and I wanted to get to know her. She was pretty surprised by this, but was open to it.
23 years old.
Born and raised in San Mateo.
SDSU for college.
She is a singer and a dancer- salsa.
She is currently single and has just moved into her own place.
She is an admin but wants to get into program management.
Her parents are divorced and she has a brother.
She said that she feels very uncomfortable at work and has no friends there.
When we drove back to work, I asked her if she would like to do something over the weekend. I was surprised when she said that we could meet for a drink on Saturday night or we could meet for brunch on Sunday. I thought to myself: 'How about both.'
My TB with my employee was a complete joy. He tried to make a joke when we started and he could tell that the rattlesnake was not joking around. He chatted for a while, mainly excuses about this or that. We ended by me telling him that I needed him to be at a certain level, and that I was worried that he was not willing to get there; or that he could get there for some reason. I told him that over the weekend he should think upon whether or not he is willing to get there, or if he can't get there then what does he need from me to succeed. He was pretty shaken up, and I felt good.
I stopped by 'yellow panties' afterward and asked her where she wanted to meet on Saturday night. She didn't know, so I picked a place for us and said that she could meet there, or I could pick her up. She wanted to get picked up. 'Bring your overnight bag' I thought to myself. We exchanged the digis (she said it, I didn't) and we had a date set.
I got home a few hours ago, and I feel pretty good. I want to get some sleep. I will have one bourbon, and I will wake up early in the morning and take a nice, long ride.
I guess I didn't really love Sophia since I have not thought of her all day. And, the thought of seeing 'yellow panties' makes me very, very happy.
Sophia is Saturn, elusive in the southern sky on a calm June night; while Jupiter is 'yellow panites', simple, stunning, simmering with eggs balancing, waiting to get fertilized. 'Yellow panties' and I will have stunning children, and I will help her become a program manager. I want to look at the sky tonight, but I feel that I have already found what I want.
Xioba