Today is Saturday- chalk festival

I rode the trainer this morning- Kurt Kinetics, fluid drive. I oscillate between listening to music and watching images while I ride. Today, I had a slide show of all my porn. It was particularly tough to look at porn today since I am between rejection and satisfaction.
10 minutes easy ride (aerobic pace)
30 second right leg drill; 30 second left left drill; 1 minute rest. 3X
5 minutes hard gearing, 90 rpm. 2 minutes easy spin, easy gear
4 minutes hard gearing, 90 rpm. 2 minutes easy spin, easy gear
3 minutes hard gearing, 90 rpm. 1 minute easy spin, easy gear
2 minutes hard gearing, 90 rpm. 1 minute easy spin, easy gear
1 minute hard gearing, 90 rpm. 1 minute easy spin, easy gear
2 minutes hard gearing, 90 rpm. 1 minute easy spin, easy gear
3 minutes hard gearing, 90 rpm. 1 minute easy spin, easy gear
4 minutes hard gearing, 90 rpm. 2 minutes easy spin, easy gear
5 minutes hard gearing, 90 rpm.
10 minutes easy ride (aerobic pace)
I love porn!
Which reminds me of an interview that I had last week. I had seen this resume almost a month ago- typical: Stanford undergrad; Kellog MBA. Top tier marketing, consulting, start-up. They are all the same these days. All this schooling and experience, but these people are still fucking idiots. McKinsey consultants basically tell you what you want to hear, and if you don't like it they change their guidance to suit your needs. They charge a ton of scratch- inversely to their IQs. And they are not even nice. They are so flip and arrogant.
Anyways, this dude I interviewed had the same resume that hundreds and hundreds of people have now. They are all the same. Except, under interests, he listed Snowboarding, traveling, home brewing, hydroponics, pr0n. I remember laughing aloud and walking out to my admin to ask her to read it. She didn't say anything. I went to a few of my employees and showed them and they all said, 'looks good.' I showed my boss, but she said nothing. I finally found Keith (the dude that left) and he laughed and said, 'right on!' I knew I had to bring this guy in to interview. I needed to see this dude. I had my admin set up the usual protocol which was to have one of my team do a phone screen, and then have several of them interview with him and then finally put him in front of me. This is pretty standard for me as it puts a filter between me and the applicant and if they can make it past the first line of defense, then I can come in and say yes or no. In this case, I put him through my filter mainly to cool down my curiosity. I figured he would not make it by my team.
I usually set up 3 consecutive hour interviews and this dude was number 2 in the day. For the interview, I always frame the meeting by stating the purpose of the interview (see if there is a fit both for us (company) and you (candidate) in terms of skills, experience, needs, desires) and then I always offer up the choice (theirs) to either speak first to tell me about their experience, or to allow me to start asking questions by walking through the resume. Both methods allow me to pause and look at the resume and understand the candidate. Almost everyone chooses to speak first. Don't know why, I guess they think it shows leadership or some BS. This dude actually chose to allow me to ask questions. I was pretty pissed by this, since I had to clearly look through the resume and act like I remembered it and ask insightful questions.
Well, I started with his experience at Kellog and subsequent internship. 10 minutes in, I knew that I was fucked. This was going to be long and painful, and I have to give him his full hour out of respect. 30 Minutes in and I had not said one word yet. He had talked the whole time. During his speech, I was going over his resume and doodling on it and pretending to make notes. Every so often, I would look up and make eye contact and nod, smile, or furrow my brow. Once or twice, I would say, 'Would you please elaborate on .......' or something like that. With 15 minutes left, I finally noticed the 'interests' section.
I almost screamed with joy.
I jutted my body up and forward toward him where I was leaned back, deep into my chair prior. When I finally saw the moment, the tiny pause between words, I jumped in. ' I would like to focus on a few points, if I may?'
'Of course' he said.
'So (very vogue), when I look at your work and school experience, I get it. As you know, here at "blah blah" we value the employee's interests outside of work as well. Would you mind talking to me a bit about your outside interests?'
This dude turned as red as tofu soup. I was blown away by the instant color change.
'Listen, you know, that was poor judgment on my part. I didn't realize that that would get out like that.' He talked on and on about how it was a mistake, an accident. Meant as a joke. Blah Blah Blah.
The rattlesnake in me felt the tiny tingle of wounded prey and I coiled back.
'So, what you are saying is that you do not enjoy beer, pot and porn?'
'No, no way. Absolutely not. I drink wine and pot is illegal and porn is misogynistic.'
Fucking pussy. I mean step up. Don't put something on your resume that you don't believe in. I would rather hire some dude that admittedly parties, smokes and looks at porn, then hire some joker, pansy that back tracks.
The rattlesnake came out and just told him flatly, 'You are not what we are looking for.'
He tried to say something as if to change my mind and I just told him, 'Thank you for your time, let me walk you down to HR.'
That was a long walk for him, and during it I kept talking to him about this that or the other.
After the next interview, and when I got back to my office, just for sport, I called my team in and asked them what they were thinking by bringing in somebody like this. They were all embarrassed. And apologetic. One even said that they let him get through since I was so excited by his resume- I need to fire that moron. Yes man BS. I hate people like that.
I went to some chalk festival this morning. I met my friend Ed and his girlfriend Win. (Hmmm. I never noticed that before.) They brought their kids (I can't remember their names) and we walked around. I drank some Peronis (I like when places have italian beers) and looked at all the women in short skirts and t-shirts. Looked for whale tails and nip slips. Ed and Win's kids were good kids. They just patiently walked around and looked at the art. They got to work on a square of newly blackened street together. They got along and shared. Very strange.
At around noon, I remembered that I needed to get back home to get ready for my date, and I also remembered that I have a tattoo appointment tomorrow. I will bring my doctor's favor out with me and I will bring a j just in case. You never know.
Big weekend.
Xioba