Today is Thursday- for real

Somewhere between the time that I got promoted (the reason for my meeting with my boss, hr and legal) and when I woke up this morning, I lost a giant chunk of my life. I tried blogging last night, and I am not sure what to say other than, wow. I can't even understand what I wrote, the english is bad and the italian is worse.
So, yesterday I was a nervous wreck all day long. I had called my friends and told them that I needed to go out and that we should meet somewhere after work. One of them suggested that we go to The Fratelli's show at the FilMO; so, we decided to meet at lil japantown at 7ish. I went on my way about doing work duties (very distracted). 'Yellow panties' was a no show again, so I was getting pretty pissed off. Just stewing deep down. At 5:25 I made the long march to my boss's office, and stood patiently. At 5:30, I knocked on her door and was asked to come in. She seemed happy, which was very odd to me, but put me in a relaxed mood. We chatted briefly until a knock on the door (my heart raced for brief moment) and Legal and HR entered- both women. We all sat down at the table and then my boss began speaking to me. I could barely hear what she was saying (I think my heart was pounding so hard that it was seemingly drowning out her words). Then it struck me, and I responded, with a bit of disbelief in my eyes, 'What did you say?'
She went on to talk about how I have been a star employee for the past 4 years, and that my team is exceptional and that it is time to 'stretch' me. I didn't know what to say or think, but I did remark on how usually anytime you are in a meeting with your boss, hr and legal it is probably not the best situation. We all chuckled at that. So, they wanted to promote me into Chief Operating Officer which would mean that I would take over a large portion of the business (R&D, Legal, HR, Production, Facilities, Logistics and a few others), but I would have to give up my Marketing department (this would go to my boss). I balked for a brief moment which made my boss throw the numbers at me. I accepted immediately, which I think shocked them, but I told them that the offer was very generous and that my loyalty toward our company made me not to want to negotiate. Legal and HR appeared to exhale at that point. My boss made a joke about my exceptional negotiating skills and that she was ready to try, so she was a bit disappointed. Her words made an idea come to mind. Here I am, a man who was just offered to be the #2 in our company, sitting in a room with 3 attractive, professional women (one my boss, and the two others my soon to be employees) and against better judgment I said that I did have one thing that I wanted to discuss and negotiate and that it was extremely sensitive and confidential, and that I trusted them to help me with the situation. I got their attention and then hooked them.
I started describing how my ex had dumped me and that it has been a rough couple of weeks. They had met Sophia in the past and appeared to like her, though I would guess that they were envious, or mad, angry, jealous (whatever emotion) since Sophia was about 10 - 15 years younger than them and shows it off. I think I might have dropped a slight tear at some point, and I might have paused a few times to gather myself which got them even more sympathetic toward me. And then I told them that I accidentally 'hit' an admin over the weekend. They were aghast and were in some sort of panic mode to figure out what to do. When they settled down, I said, 'no I didn't hit an admin, I screwed one.' I thought about talking about hummers and anal play and screams and moans, but knew that I shouldn't push my luck. Blah blah blah this that and the other and it turns out that since this admin is not under my umbrella and was not under my umbrella when I was in marketing, though it was poor judgment, there was no wrong doing. Turns out 'Yellow panties' is in finance. Whatever. We chatted more, I acted embarrassed and asked for advice. I talked about being lonely and vulnerable, and that it just sort of happened. We then stopped talking about it and refocused on my promotion. I need to give up marketing immediately and focus in on my new role- I will shadow the now departing COO for 3 months and then take on full COOship. My boss is a very capable marketer, so there is no worry about service in that area.
I left the office, I called 'Yellow panties' on her cell- straight to voice mail- and met my friends at japantown.
We were eating noodles and drinking sake and beer when one of my friends winked at me to come with him. We went outside to his car which was parked a few streets up at a meter and we got in. He put on some Steely Dan (I should have known at this point) and we had some pizza. He then offered me a rail, and against better self preserving judgment, I made it disappear with one quick, fluid, sgnffff. I remember looking into the mirror and seeing my magnified, crumpled face and I said to myself. 'Oh, this ain't good'. I can't explain the feeling other than I felt like I had been infested by something mean and awful and it made me want to open up my arms and bleed it out of me. Dread, fear, lust, hunger, insecurity on and on were all jumbled together in my head. Steely Dan on the radio and my friend, laughing and saying 'Good shit, huh, good shit' while slapping my back. Mother fucker, I will get even. I felt I could not speak, so I knew that I had to remain calm. I got out of the car (my heart was probably doing 180+) and I calmly walked back to the noodle shop. I could hear my friend yelling for me. Fuck him. It took forever to get to the noodle place, and I could see my little hour glass dripping the sand down. I did not have much time, but I could not panic. I walked into the restaurant, looked at my other three friends, and without saying a word, I reached into my wallet, pulled out $300+ and put it down on the table. I turned around and calmly walked out. When I finally made it to my car (in the parking lot) I could see the last bits of sand going around and around in that little bottle neck that is in the middle of the hour glass. I had to get in, start the car, find my parking ticket, get out cash, and find the correct song. I chose Kashmir. It is long, predictable and quite fitting. The last thing I remember is that I turned left out of the parking lot, and then lost myself somewhere after ' oh, all I see turns to brown........'
I woke up this morning and I was genuinely surprised that I was alive. It was shocking to me to feel the air in my lungs and to feel my damp, sweaty pillow against my jaw.
I need to stick to pizza and beer. I need to stay away from that house.
Xioba